Thanks Anny (& Bob)
How do you mean, "hoping it would stay as it was"?
As for the final strophe, yes, that last line is a cliche, and the claim
that the flaneur exists only in pataphor is maybe a little silly. Possibly
it needs a bit more thought there.
Janet
On 12/01/2008, Anny Ballardini <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I enjoyed the way you revised this version and I was reading it hoping it
> would stay as it was till the end. There is something in the final strophe
> that does not convince me, probably the last line but hopefully it is only
> me.
>
> On Jan 12, 2008 8:03 AM, Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Alien-eyed (Flaneur)
> >
> > So I will be your
> > flaneur, yes,
> > that's what I will be,
> > flanerie my technique
> > of touching your
> >
> > Flanerie, not flattery. I will
> > not paint -- I will photograph
> > your constructed
> > your concreted skin
> > your starred and lit / your
> > banner camera hair
> > your dirty ruined / your
> > crumble and birdshit
> >
> > This angular flapper frame will walk
> > its dancy walk all over your.
> > Observe my mannish
> > my collection of quirky
> > my faux fur and genuine leather / my
> > shoeshined, styled, alien-eyed / my
> >
> > Never actual/present, existing
> > only in pataphor, yet
> > coming to get you
> >
> > --
> > Janet Jackson
> > [log in to unmask]
> > www.proximity.webhop.net
> > www.myspace.com/poetjj
> >
>
>
>
> --
> Anny Ballardini
> http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
> http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
> http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
> I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing
> star!
>
--
Janet Jackson
[log in to unmask]
www.proximity.webhop.net
www.myspace.com/poetjj
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