it is basically Sharon; but the enjmbement actually makes the metre
null since it doesn't follow it. still, a nice poem, that was.
I like leeway, just not in fixed forms. if they're no longer fixed,
then fuck em. then they're freeverse aren't they
KS
On 23/01/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I *used* to be able to scan, and write iambic -- my swimming sonnet is
> perfect (in metre, I mean):
> http://www.sbpoet.net/2004/07/swimming_sonnet.html
>
> At least, I think it is.
>
> But I've lost the knack. And I do agree, in part -- I've seen poems
> called sonnets that seem to bear no relation to the form other than
> having fourteen lines, and I often wonder about that.
>
> But surely there is some leeway?
>
> On 1/22/08, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > I think it's a beautiful poem. and I think it could be made a great
> > sonnet with relatively few changes. this certainly doesn't scan, &
> > that's the only thing that makes me not want to call this a sonnet.
> >
> > how well do you know metre? the first line of the final couplet is in
> > perfect iambic pentameter, and that's what the rest of the poem should
> > be in, for it to quality as a sonnet (to me).
> >
> > the better idea is to just keep it as it is, just correcting weird
> > enjambments like "inev- / itable" -- I don't know what you were going
> > for there.
> >
> > KS
> >
> > On 22/01/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > > ... I'm not sure what's allowed. I tried to respond to two prompts
> > > with one poem: write a sonnet, and write about the frailty of human
> > > effort:
> > >
> > > Ephemeral Sonnet
> > >
> > > We write on water, we poets. Most of
> > > us. Some write on sand, brief calligraphy
> > > for seagulls, shore-birds and the slow inev-
> > > itable tide. A few write to stain the sea,
> > >
> > > so intense, the color of their ink salts
> > > the words of their inheritors years
> > > beyond their own decline. It's not their fault
> > > that rules and ideologies emerge
> > >
> > > poem by innocent poem. Some writers
> > > strive to obscure the mysterious; some try
> > > to reveal the obvious. Some are rhymers;
> > > some are not. Some leap at the chance to fly.
> > >
> > > In hopes they will endure, some write their odes
> > > on stone. Stone is hard. But even stone erodes.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Not as fun as Halvard's -- but is it a sonnet? If not, what must I do
> > > to make it one?
> > >
> > > --
> > >
> > >
> > > ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
> > >
> >
>
>
> --
>
>
> ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
>
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