suggestion: what about "the man" instead of "He"? (I kind of liked it
though, because to me (admittedly Australian) it seems to be ridiculing the
way we make gods out of clayfooted men)
Janet
On 28/12/2007, Frederick Pollack <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Roger Day" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Friday, December 28, 2007 5:48 AM
> Subject: Re: revised "Keep On Keeping On," and "Amends"
>
>
> I enjoyed this poem, however I worry about the capitalisation of He; i
> know who he refers to, but I also think the capitalisation kinda plays
> up to the conceit that "god is in the whitehouse", not a conceit I
> would wish to reinforce. I don't think the he needs to be capitalised,
> the blue and white Marine choppers are enough, I think, to announce
> his dull presence.
>
> Roger
>
> Good objection. I worried about that; I don't like it either. But
> without
> it the line could be read as saying one can't be sure he, i.e., oneself,
> is
> aboard. I decided on "He," rather than reworking the whole stanza, just
> because W *doesn't deserve it. Same effect as Pope's "Dulness exalted
> sat."
> Just as he, Cheney, Rice, the flunkeys don't deserve the psychologizing in
> stanza 2. It's a poem about impotent resentment, criticism vs. insulation
> from criticism, culminating with the boss in st. 3 *not understanding* the
> point about the memo - perceiving it not as a logical statement but a
> meaningless, "idiosyncratic" cavil of the speaker's. It occurred to me
> that
> "Amends" also is about languages that can't connect or overlap.
>
--
Janet Jackson
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www.proximity.webhop.net
www.myspace.com/poetjj
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