Well, there is hope. I am thinking of translating it into limericks.
Done with the Iliad and Odyssey I statrted the limerick "Decline and
Fall of the Roman Empire" (a bit of that below) but "Beowulf" would be
a nice break.
Chapter I
The extent and military force of the Roman empire, in the age of the Antonines.
In the Second Century AD
Rome ruled from sea to sea
But it began declining
So it's no use whining
That's just how things must be.
It was guarded by antient valor
And Gods of a distinctive pallor
And Caesar Augustus
Whose magnificent bust is
Crumbling by the hour
In a certain museum in Roma
Under the magnificent doma
Of the Vatican
Maybe I'll go again
Or maybe I'll just go to MOMA.
When Caesar Augustus died
He suggested that the Empire abide
Within the current borders
and those were his orders
And his successors stood by his side.
With the exception of the conquest of Britain
With which the emperors were smitten
It was so near Gaul
And seemed easy and all
And condign and really quite fittiing.
And so they conquered the Druids
Spilling their bodily fluids
And even Boadicea
Fell down before Caesar
And the Brits ran away like poor newts.
On the borders were many barbarians.
Rome wished they could have been Unitarians
But they mostly were Goths
And liked to plunder a lot.
But what if they were Rastafarians?
Which seems to be Rome's only hope:
To get them all smoking some dope
But they had whiskey and mead
And didn't have any weed
And Rome was sadly unable to cope.
Rome left Caledonia alone
To set their distinctive tone
It was too gloomy
And too damned mushroomy
And far from the temperate zone.
But then came the Emperor Trajan
Who looking for a reputation
The conquest of Dacia
And then most of Asia
Would bring glory to the old Roman nation.
And Trajan remarked "I'm so old
I have little time so I'll be so bold
I'll ravage Belgravia
Then savage Arabia
And send back many slaves and much gold."
And he did and then quietly sighed
Looked at the Persian Gulf then quietly died.
And when he was dead
All that could be said.
Is "He once ruled the world and he died."
And the Roman people called "Yo Hadrian"
Who sailed over the seas Pelegian
And refrained from attack
And gave it all back
Which pleased all the Roman sages and
Displeased the military assholes
With their eagles and their tassles.
But Hadrian rested
And was not really tested
And messed about building some castles.
And then came Antoninus Pius
Who was one of those tranquil guys
And Roman Arms
Prevented all harms
And seemed, for a time, to suffice.
On Nov 17, 2007 5:39 PM, MC Ward <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Joe wrote: "I heard the alliteration was great but the
> assonance needed a little work."
>
> HAHA, Joe. I will certainly keep an ear out for this
> problem when I see the film. Thanks for the heads-up.
>
> Candice
>
>
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--
Joseph Green
The Pleasant Reviewer
Headmaster, St. John Boscoe Laboratory School
Switchboard Captain, Hollywood Colonial Hotel
All complaints shall be directed to:
Camelopard Breathwaite
The Fallows, 200 Fifth Avenue, Fredonia City
"That's Double Dependability"
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