I mentioned love/romance earlier, and by the presence of that element
in the sextet (no pun intended, haw) along with the obvious visual
structure of the poem as a whole, I might guess (without being told or
led to believe it was one) that it was inteded as 'a sort of sonnet'.
but not a sonnet outright. I say, if you're not willing to go the
distance & do the footwork to include the stresses & the rhymes, why
bother calling it a sonnet at all? seems like a bit of a cop-out in
that regard, 'snatching' any connotations that the word 'sonnet' might
carry without actually doing anything else to imply the form.
KS
On 14/10/2007, andrew burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Well, I'll put my neck out and post a sonnet of mine, entitled Rainy Days.
>
>
> *Rainy Days*
>
>
>
>
>
> No wipers so I curse the rain and drive
>
> like a blind shepherd lost in his flock. Out
>
> of my car and into her house, the rain
>
> follows me, a stowaway in my jeans,
>
> jumper, socks and sneakers. Such a squall
>
> the fire sizzles with rain driven down
>
> the chimney by tangential winds. Her cat
>
> growls as I take his chair before the fire.
>
>
>
> She offers me shelter from the storm, dries
>
> my hair and whispers in my ear, *Wanna*
>
> *fool around*? Then turns down her bed to
>
> accept me like a dolphin in the womb of
>
> the sea. The Earth's pulse beats in
>
> the ocean, and rain rises to fall again.
>
>
> I scanned it in from another source, so I hope it stays together. Now, it
> does have some characteristics of a sonnet: the octet is mainly negative,
> but changes (volta) in the ninth line to the positive, and there is a mild
> form of rhyme in the last couplet.
>
> Now,I may have bored list members with this story before, but here I go
> again: I was teaching down at Fremantle Arts Centre (beautiful venue by the
> ocean and port) many years ago. I had a class who were talented by some were
> conservative. One particularly was a doctor. If I mentioned the word
> 'poetry' or 'poem' his language became flowery and false - 'poetic' to his
> mind. So I thought to trip him up, and get him to write a damn good poem in
> everyday language or the vernacular. I set them a task of writing eighty
> syllables either for or against the first rains of the year, which we had
> just experienced. Then, when they had finished that, to write sixty
> syllables about the rain with the opposite emotion. I warned them to use
> images from the five senses, and to Show; Don't Tell. When they had that
> finished, I had them count out ten syllables and put a separating line
> through their writing at each count. Then, rewrite it out breaking the lines
> into ten syllable lines, but using their own taste and sensitivity to choose
> where to break and release lines which fell within a word. Some lines
> therefore became 11, some 9, etc.
>
> ... But he produced the best poem he had ever written under those
> directions! If I had said, 'Write a Sonnet about the rain,' I fear it may
> have been less. He was thrilled with the result, and they all learnt
> something about cadence and language.
>
> I wrote my sonnet that day, in exactly that way, in around 15 minutes. I
> later changed a word or two, and may have twiddled a line ending, but
> essentially that was as it was writ in my notebook. (It appeared later in my
> collection which some English people have, called 'Whispering Gallery'.)
>
> Is that a sonnet to you, Hal? Joanna? Kasper?
>
>
> Andrew
>
> On 14/10/2007, Joanna Boulter <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > Yes I know, the exception rather than the rule, and a matter for comment.
> > It
> > might be interesting to look at a few of them, and see what actually does
> > make them sonnets rather than thirteen-line poems. *If we can find enough
> > examples that we can agree on as being true examples.
> >
> > But to my mind, a sonnet is more than just the number of its lines, and I
> > suspect that this is what Kasper's feeling here, possibly Janet too. I
> > mean,
> > not all four-legged animals are dogs -- there are differentials that mark
> > them out instantly from cats. Nor do the tailless Manx cat and the boxer
> > dog
> > with the docked tail cloud the issue there.
> >
> > I suspect it's something to do with the way they move and behave, but
> > would
> > be interested to see what others think.
> >
> > joanna
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "andrew burke" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 12:21 PM
> > Subject: Re: Sonnets (Re: Sonnet for the Criminally Insane )
> >
> >
> > > There have been 13 line sonnets in history, y'know ...
> > >
> > > Andrew
> > >
> > >
> > > On 14/10/2007, Joanna Boulter <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > >>
> > >> Good questions, Janet, especially that last para.
> > >>
> > >> I have a habit of writing short poems which turn out to be 13-liners. A
> > >> surprising number of people say "Why don't you add another line, and
> > then
> > >> it'll be a sonnet?" My answer is usually "It doesn't want to be one --
> > >> and
> > >> yes, I did ask it!" However, the real reason I don't is more likely
> > that
> > >> I've said what I need to say in 13 lines and can see no point in adding
> > a
> > >> 14th for the sake of it.
> > >>
> > >> Having said that, though, I can and do write sonnets.
> > >>
> > >> joanna
> > >>
> > >> ----- Original Message -----
> > >> From: "Janet Jackson" <[log in to unmask]>
> > >> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > >> Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 2:52 AM
> > >> Subject: Sonnets (Re: Sonnet for the Criminally Insane )
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> >> Mine are non-metrical, non-rhyming (for the most part)
> > >> >> sonnets. The sonnet's a broad, deep river with interesting
> > >> >> eddies at its margins.
> > >> >
> > >> > OK, Hal, please would you educate us?
> > >> > What makes a poem a sonnet, and not just a 14-line poem?
> > >> > That it presents an opinion?
> > >> > That the lines are longish and all about the same length?
> > >> > That if you really work at it you read it with five stresses per
> > line?
> > >> >
> > >> > I have a book somewhere that claims sonnets should have
> > >> > a "volta", a twist at about line 9, but I don't see that
> > >> > in this one.
> > >> >
> > >> > I suspect Kasper is more interested in why you bother labelling
> > >> > it a sonnet, what your purpose is in doing that.
> > >> >
> > >> > Janet
> > >> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >> > Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
> > >> > www.myspace.com/poetjj
> > >> > www.proximity.webhop.net
> > >> >
> > >> > Allegedly, some kid poet came over to Robert Frost at some gathering
> > >> > and
> > >> > introduced himself by saying "I'm a poet." Frost replied "That's a
> > >> > praise word. I'd wait 'til someone else called me that."
> > >> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >>
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --
> > > Andrew
> > > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> > > http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits
> > > http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
> > >
> >
>
>
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
>
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