Just wanted to correct the typo in the subject line. Carry on...
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of TheOldMole
> Sent: 01 October 2007 14:49
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: w3elcome
>
> I dunno...I think I'd compress the beginning, but not cut all of it. I
> think we do need to know he was fired. But the best part of the poem is
> the interview, when the two personae start getting hopelessly tangled,
> and I would get to that a lot sooner.
>
> The long lines call attention to themselves, because they're the
> minority. But they aren't the best lines. They don't justify their
> length or their prominence.
>
> Brent Saner wrote:
> > certainly!
> > in fact, i'll give you all a special exclusive glimpse! these are pieces
> > that aren't in the portfolio yet.
> >
> >
> > the interview
> >
> > i was fired
> > (i tell people "let go" but probably "fired" is more accurate,
> > even though it was without good reason)
> > so i've taken up my new position
> > for the Reality Daily;
> > i'm a journalist for the underdog periodical.
> >
> > i collaborate and i shatter
> > and drown in print and pints;
> > i interview myself and
> > sometimes it goes like this:
> >
> > me: so, self, what's new?
> >
> > usually, i never respond. i think i might be bitter.
> > but sometimes i do.
> >
> > me: i write and write; i write almost all the time. i drink a little
less
> > than i write.
> > i eat even less than that.
> > i look for a new job but nobody's hiring (me).
> >
> > i go out sometimes, but it never amounts to much
> > excepting a headache.
> > i have friends, i think, but they're all
> > moved away or moving or
> > married off and/or expecting.
> > or they secretly hate me.
> >
> > me: oh, so you've been pretty busy,
> > i'm guessing?
> >
> > me: oh, yes, absolutely, self-pity is
> > a fulltime job.
> >
> > me: i wouldn't know, i'm unemployed.
> >
> > me: it's time-consuming thinking about
> > failed romances and not being good enough.
> >
> > me: undoubtedly.
> > i broke my mirror for the precisely same reason.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > long-distance
> >
> > i am standing outside your window
> > with a cigarette and nervous tongue.
> > don't hold me down;
> > don't hold me down.
> >
> > the cigarette's gone out
> > but the burns still stay
> > and the blistered skin
> > against my rough pen
> > is madness and mania.
> >
> > your ashes are all over everything,
> > i can still smell you
> > in my car
> > and on my bed
> > (i almost had to sleep on the floor
> > even after you left).
> >
> > death is only in your bones,
> > please do not hang up the phone
> > because my marrow is not sweet.
> > please do not hang up because
> > i am not holy.
> >
> >
> >
> > as you can see, i take a pretty big influence from Bukowski (R.I.P.);
he's
> > just one of the most simple and honest modern-era poets.
> >
> > the portfolio (100+ pieces) can be found here:
> > http://notebookarmy.org/portfolio/portfolio.pdf
> >
> >
> >
> > On 9/30/07, andrew burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> >> Welcome, Brent. Send us a poem or two to id yourself >g< That's if
> >> you're so inclined.
> >>
> >> --
> >> Andrew
> >> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> >> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> --
> Tad Richards
> http://www.opus40.org/tadrichards/
> http://opusforty.blogspot.com/
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