I love how "further away, less distinct" sets up a bit of a past, as
if this rabbit were some recent, little fixture.
"old blood brown" hits a chord because it seems to communicate the
idea of a non-domesticated animal, with an eye infection or a broken
leg or a chipped ear; animals age as well, but they do it more subtly
than humans & this description feels like an old animal; still has
blood, but the blood is more brown than red.
"the sun behind him is his alone", I read this as a Cummings turn of
phrase first; as in, 'the sun represents his loneliness'. it's fine
either way. but this second stanza is awkward; if you mean the eye &
the sun to be together, why not make it "are his alone"? it would
introduce a sort of nobility that rested not only in the
semi-impossible ('owning' the sun) but in the actual, it would ennoble
the actual: his eye is HIS eye.
"Sure enough, sure sure enough". what? why the weird repetiton? before
such a killer line too (absorbed like milk).
the final stanza is really a little breathtaking, it's very poignant.
the "you say" of line 7 makes the 'marble --> seed' symbol absolutely
unquestionable & so, so strong, because the image isn't just thrust
out, it's mediated. "sandy curses", dust rising through sunlight. the
leather of their boots, as dry as the blood dried on the rabbit's eye.
KS
On 18/09/2007, Caleb Cluff <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> This morning the rabbit in my yard
> was further away, less distinct.
>
> His old blood brown eye
> and the sun behind him is his alone.
>
> Sure enough, sure sure enough
> he is absorbed like milk.
>
> A marble in the mouth, you say,
> reverts to seed. Our forebears
> stamp their feet, make sandy curses.
> The leather of their boots, so dry.
>
> Caleb Cluff
> Majorca, VIC.
> 18/9/07
>
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