yeah, much better... sweet second stanza...
--
Bob Marcacci
Assassination: The extreme form of censorship.
- George Bernard Shaw
> From: Anny Ballardini <[log in to unmask]>
> Reply-To: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics" <[log in to unmask]>
> Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 21:54:32 +0200
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Re: collage poetry
>
> I find it much better. Congratulations for your work. And to Tad, an
> excellent page.
>
> On 8/20/07, Lynda Nash <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> I've just read 'Collaging Poems - by Patti Marshock' (thanks for directing
>> me there Tad)so, being inqisitive, I had to try some translations.
>>
>> I used the poem I posted here, translating it first into French and back
>> again and then into Spanish and back. What I noticed was it enabled me to
>> view my own words as if they were new or written by someone else. As
>> writers we all end up getting too close to our work and this seemed to
>> help me veiw it in a different light. And it gave me ideas - which was the
>> object of the excercise!
>> Whether or not it has helped me write a better poem I don't know but
>> this is what I ended up with.
>>
>> The Sticks and Stones
>>
>> Her feet on the sill
>> she thinks of names for her knees
>> and mouths them onto the glass.
>>
>> They block her view of the children
>> in the gutter
>> playing Jackie-Five-Stones
>>
>> She smiles simply
>> and waves
>> but not at them.
>>
>> She wants to know if the latch would look
>> like a stick upside down,
>> if only she could push it that far.
>>
>> The metal screeches.
>> The wind catches
>>
>> and her hair becomes feathers
>> her mouth, suddenly a beak,
>> squawks
>>
>> as the children run
>> empty-handed down the street.
>>
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