'halting' is what I thought too, the elements have been rearranged
without that much sealing up of seams, it seems. (hah) the first
stanza is pretty dull to me; for me, short lines need impeccable image
& sound & rhythm because the shortness makes all those things acute &
clear. Williams had a natural knack for those things, which a lot of
the time made his poetry near perfection. there also needs to be an
interest, an action or state that is really worth making so vivid with
the choice of short lines. the first stanza here sounds like an event
being retold for the sake of retelling it,or for the sake of
highlighting it as an event that was witnessed -- without much
observable significance.
the second stanza has a bit of this same trouble, & the rhythm does
work quite right with the enjambment (e.g. ll 15-16). in fact rhythm
is the problem this time, the poem ends suddenly & dryly, EVEN though
the final 4 lines are very good.
KS
On 27/07/07, andrew burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> on a stockyard fence
> a black crow steps
> gingerly toward
> a chirping chittering
> willy-wagtail
> whose lifelong mate
> skips and hops
> in the waterfall
> of a sprinkler set
> to settle the dust.
>
> a five year old
> Ngallagunda boy
> weilds a whip
> shortened for him -
> still he makes it crack
> lightning and thunder
> among the dust of
> a hundred bulls.
>
|