The Facts in the Case of Tim S.
Describe the crowd at the bar "Jack London's."
Fool-begged, foolish-compounded, folly-fallen footlings. foison plenty
of flickering Flibbertigibbets, fluxive flouting-stock flewed as
flax-wenches, fleering and flap-mouthed flirt gills and flesh mongers
full-gorged yet frustrate. Also: pajocks and pantaloons.
Also many insects of type Manomorium pharaonis.
They weren't that bad were they?
True. Those were pearls that were their eyes. Also stars may be
made from them. The propolis of the lattice if one must admit it.
Bee glue to Betelgeuse if they are lucky. Otherwise orphic orts
when one is bored and nothing else is on. Marrowbones.
Quodlibets boring. Desist at once.
Describe the mood in the bar after the decedent screamed.
The crystal fretting (CF) was fracted.
A certain ontological void was created.
The exterior envelope of the crystal fretting was palpated to
effect a hiatus in the lattice-work.
What effect did this have? Was it permanant?
Dehiscence or fission de facto of course always implicated and
a liminal porosity expected but anticipated invagination of light
delayed and the Da of Sa and the non-place of Vorstellung
temporarily inhibited by glissement all glockenspiel causing
the CF to groin glutted by vacuum awaiting glissando. Everyone was
tense. Sphatic.
How did the decedent die?
The decedent inserted the barrel of the Colt Model 70 semi-automatic
pistol into his mouth. Since the decedent was completely orthognathous,
this action was performed with some grace.
The decedent than depressed the trigger of the pistol at the same time
lowering the barrel of the pistol so that the bullet, when discharged,
penetrated the fauces instead of his brains. Instead of dying at once
the decedent experienced exsanguination and died only after 17 minutes
had expired.
What then occurred?
The decedent uttered the digraph "uh" which was held for a demisemiquaver
with insignificant (at this time) fermata. Enuresis followed with
subsequent engorgement of tissue. Sphincter relaxed the bowels
evacuated. Matters most sanguinary ensued not at this time deemed to
be of sufficient interest to be denumerated. However spallation was
noted immediately after decease but hypercharge minus baryon yields
impossible quantum number so strangeness not calculated. Spinthariscopes
must be improved. Also the exuviae of certain insects shed in
the vehicle owned by the besanguined felodese were made sanguinolent by
the blood gushing from decedent's wound and have been deemed of aesthetic
interest. Also, the decedent wailed like a limpkin.
What were the contents of the stomach of the decedent? (stomach contents)
Saturated and unsaturated aliphatic compounds with an even number
of carbon atoms. Palmitic, stearic, and oleic acids. A partially
digested jalepeno. Additional analysis would reveal trace amounts
of diquat. Analysis not performed by indigenous medical personnel.
Was any "scat" (powdered cocaine) found on the person of the corpse
when the corpse was examined by indigenous medical personnel?
No. No "scat" (powdered cocaine) was found.
List the decedents three wives.
Nancy who was fancy. Fancy Nancy
Jeannie whose eyes were so greenie.
Sweet trembling Jennie who hands were so slow.
Jennie the de trop.
Were any of these wives fecundated by the decedent?
Yes, one such wife was fecundated. The wife named "Jennie"
What was the issue of this fecundation?
A monster most horrible. With, however, a garland briefer than a girls.
Fugnacious and a non-funambulist lacking all limbs it was fordone
almost at birth. A folie a deux persisted between the decedent
and the fecundated wife and indigenous medical personnel were
not consulted before the birth due to a mutual sense that
they were fordone. Afterwards the ex-fecund wife was faradized.
To no good effect. Still she made little eyres of her cell and
expressed a wish to be desexed. Faradization continued but her
desire is not defeasible. The inexplicable motility of the edible
continued.
Describe the funeral rites of the decedent.
He was exenterated by a skilled mortuary technician, dighted
by this same technician in unhabitual habiliment and then
deflagrated.
Did all the instruments agree that the day of his dying was a dark, cold
day?
No. The sidereal day in which the decedent died had hardly begun.
The previous day had been pluvious but little clouds were sporting in the
welkin and the spinny stars shone seder on the little town. Also,
the orreries in the orthoclase spun merrily.
Did dolphins waft home the hapless youth blah blah blah?
No.
Did the decedent at any time have a SIAP (Single Integrated Action Plan)?
No.
Was the decedent born on a Wednesday and hence "full of woe?"
No, the decedent was born on a Thursday and hence should be thought
of as having "far to go."
Have skilled exegetes analyzed the decedents literary remains?
Yes.
Their judgment?
Immature influence of Garcia Lorca. Sterile staminody.
No pnanerogam he. No diaphantine analysis required.
Did the decedent have any hope that if he had not killed himself he
might have helped 92 year old Professor Charles Hartshorne
complete his sixteen-fold analysis of divine dual transcendence
in terms of polar contraries and arrange each element of transcendence
in a neat table of the combinations of each polar contrary in their
double applications or inapplications (zero cases) so that their
logical relationships can be surveyed almost at a glance as did Joseph
Pickle of Colorado College?
No. None.
Did it mean anything?
It?
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