Still sounds like you got *something* out of it.
Hal
"The more you throw tomatoes on Sopranoes, the more they yell."
--Georges Perec
(attrib. to Unsofort and Tchetera)
Halvard Johnson
================
[log in to unmask]
[log in to unmask]
http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard
http://entropyandme.blogspot.com
http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com
http://www.hamiltonstone.org
On May 31, 2007, at 10:02 AM, kasper salonen wrote:
> hoorah for semantics. I didn't mean nice sounds (the sonics are quite
> unremarkable), I just liked the word/image combinations of the second
> stanza somewhat.
> it's just that sounding nice is rarely enough, even if it sounds
> REALLY nice, which this didn't. phrases like "casualties of elegant
> madness" annoy me (not to mention "lines of unlimited want") because
> they don't seem to refer to anything, or refer to something way
> abstract, and sound interesting on one hand but inane on the other. it
> reminds me of the type of poetry teenage writers tend to come up with.
>
> the cutting-up is the basis here, sure. the technique is alien to me
> as an idea (I like to come up with my own words; not to say that
> 'collage' poetry must necessarily be crap), maybe that has something
> to do with it.
>
> KS
>
> On 31/05/07, Halvard Johnson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> Seems contradictory, KS. You got nice sounds
>> out of it.
>>
>> Hal
>>
>> "I would horsewhip you if I had a horse."
>> --Groucho Marx
>>
>> Halvard Johnson
>> ================
>> [log in to unmask]
>> [log in to unmask]
>> http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard
>> http://entropyandme.blogspot.com
>> http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com
>> http://www.hamiltonstone.org
>>
>> On May 31, 2007, at 1:11 AM, kasper salonen wrote:
>>
>> > this makes no sense to me. sounds kind of nice, but I get nothing
>> > out of it.
>> >
>> > KS
>> >
>> > On 31/05/07, Tina Bass <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> >> I think I prefer it like this, without the original first line.
>> >> Comments
>> >> welcome. I'm quite tired. I may think differently tomorrow.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> lines of unlimited want cross
>> >> casualties of elegant madness
>> >>
>> >> we watch for life as never before
>> >> work out distress in golden clover
>> >> treasure our remote-controlled triumph
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> --------------------------------------------------------------
>> >> [log in to unmask]
>> >> http://www.fatmandancing.co.uk
>> >> http://www.myspace.com/fat_man_dancing
>> >>
>>
|