Hi,
Ros Barber recently made the point on her blog, Shallowlands, that often the
last stanza of a poem can be lost without harming it. She won a competition
with a poem that ran onto two pages, only to realise that the judges had
never seen the last stanza, which was on the second sheet of paper.
Matt
>From: Liz Bassett <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new post from Gill
>Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:52:43 +0000
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>Gill
>
>I really love this poem. I like the movement in it and the simplicity and
>clarity of image. Smashing! There was one bit that didn't work for me and
>that was the violin - it seemed cliched in an otherwise pure poem. I was
>also wondering if you need the last line at all. I sometimes find that
>last lines, just like first lines, can be peeled away in edits. Does
>anyone else find this? Fabulous poem though - really alive!
>
>Liz
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>www.wordhappening.blogspot.com
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>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new post from Gill
>Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2007 10:12:11 +0100
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>Green Man
>
>Dip your hand in my skull,
>pluck out a branch,
>grow it
>from the earth of your palm.
>
>The wind
>sings in my head of leaves,
>violin
>in tune with the faint song
>of the far-off stars,
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>whose language
>I can speak.
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>My body oozes sap,
>molasses, rain.
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>Come, dip.
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>I'd really welcome some feedback on this!
>best wishes to you all,
>Gill McEvoy.
>
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