> With this one's story, I expected a return to the workplace mentioned in
> line 4.
Ah yes, that's what was bothering me about it.
And why *does* she live with her grandparents?
I don't like this as much as some of Ken's other work.
The honesty is good, yes, but it's so... naked.
There isn't enough context. It could be anyone, anywhere.
looking forward to the next draft
Janet
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Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
Poems at Proximity: www dot proximity dot webhop dot net
Our humanity is diminished when we have no mission
bigger than ourselves.
Bono
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