the tragedy in this is beautifully, lightly, subtly masked. everything
points towards lightness: the title, the lines "candleless / for we
are not religious" (which I found funny because it implies that the
tradition of having candles on a cake is made out to be religious),
the image & consonance of "in the garden gaudy...", the clarity &
williams-like freshness of "the sea breathes / a weight of silver"...
the only part that actually hints at remembrance of death is the final
stanza, which also stands apart nicely because of the longer lines;
but even there, due to the rich metaphorical language of the poem
prior to this part, the 'shawl' & the 'bones' are not automatically
literal.
even the lack of punctuation is done seamlessly, & it adds to a
nagging foreshadowing of the blank immediacy of death.
besides which, the imagery of this is great. branches, bees, sea wind,
flowers, bones. outstanding work.
KS
On 19/04/07, Cindy Lee <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Your forty seventh April
> candleless
> for we are not religious
>
> in the garden gaudy
> branches float
> with early bees
>
> the sea breathes
> a weight of silver
> there is no horizon
>
> in three days the flowers
> will fall three times
> since your last April
>
> and we will sow a pale petal shawl
> to warm your bones as they drag and furl
> beneath the ice bright water
>
> Cindy - very rough, and any comments delightedly received!
>
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