I agree with Janet's first remark, but actually really liked the
'beneath', the stumble of which seems deliberate (into that destroyed
space
Doug
On 4-Apr-07, at 10:03 PM, Janet Jackson wrote:
> This is so cleverly dense. Just about every word has at least two
> possible meanings. "Unbroken flag" is my favourite part.
>
> "Beneath" seems a weak word to end on. Taking it out spoils
> the rhythm (although I'm not sure I like the rhythm anyway).
>
> hope this is of some use
>
> Janet
>
>> This is intended to be part of a collection of small snaps about the
>> Old
>> Cathedral in Coventry (destroyed during WW2). I started it last
>> year, had a
> ...
>> ALTAR
>>
>> neatened rubble casting clots
>> exploding shadow stains
>> each unbroken flag beneath
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
> Poems at Proximity:
> http://www.proximity.webhop.net
>
> Our humanity is diminished when we have no mission
> bigger than ourselves.
> Bono
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
>
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
(780) 436 3320
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
No poem is intended for the reader, no picture for the beholder, no
symphony for the listener.
Walter Benjamin
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