the epigraph idea is very interesting, & could work splendidly!
KS
On 12/04/07, MC Ward <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> One possibility that occurs to me is to use the Plath
> line (or two) as an epigraph and thereby acknowledge
> the similarity and make it work for you by way of the
> "air"/"wear" rhyme that would then frame the poem.
> That way you point up the relationship of your
> poem/line to Plath's, but without altering your own
> poem/line to allude to Plath's. Would that do? (To
> tell you the truth, though, I really don't think your
> echo of the Plath line is plagiarism. It certainly
> didn't occur to me, even as an echo, when I read your
> stunning last line. Now I think you might want to make
> the slight allusion a framing rhyme for the poem as a
> whole.) Hope this is helpful--
>
> Candice
>
>
>
> --- Caleb Cluff <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Thank you everyone for your considered, deep
> > replies, and Doug's
> > generous rewrite. But now I have an enormous
> > problem, per Kasper's
> > reading and Candice's attention. That is, I
> > recognise that the final
> > line
> >
> > 'I will give you my last skin to wear, to wear, to
> > wear.'
> >
> > is altogether too close to Plath's
> >
> > 'and live in Majorca on air, on air.'
> >
> > for my liking. It may be a subconscious allusion, as
> > I haven't read the
> > poem (the title escapes me) or indeed Plath, for a
> > very long time. But
> > as soon as the seed was planted, I knew I'd
> > plagiarised the rhythm.
> >
> > Comments? It makes me feel so disappointed, as I
> > thought the work had
> > some directions for me to work toward, and now? It
> > feels not entirely
> > mine.
> >
> > Caleb
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics
> > [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> > Behalf Of andrew burke
> > Sent: Thursday, 12 April 2007 9:06 AM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Snap - The Spider
> >
> > Wow, I liked the poem, yes, but I qalso like the
> > enthusiasm shown by
> > other members. A great list of listeners!
> >
> > Andrew
> >
> > On 12/04/07, Stephen Vincent <[log in to unmask]>
> > wrote:
> > > The spider is sudden, like a vowel.
> > >
> > > Maybe part of the 'frisson' here is that "vowels"
> > normally do not
> > speed
> > > things up (as in "sudden") but, more often than
> > not, slow down and
> > pace the
> > > stream of consonants. So there might be a lovely -
> > sleight of hand -
> > > contradiction that you have managed to employ,
> > Caleb. Thought the "e"
> > in
> > > your name is pretty quick in comparison to the "a"
> > - a "sudden"
> > realization,
> > > I see!
> > >
> > > Stephen V
> > > http://stephenvincent.net/blog/
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Totally agree with Stephen Caleb: what an
> > opening line.
> > > >
> > > > And the ongoing perceptual understanding...
> > > >
> > > > Doug
> > > > On 10-Apr-07, at 10:54 PM, Stephen Vincent
> > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> The spider is sudden, like a vowel.
> > > >>
> > > >> That alone is a great line, Caleb!
> > > >> I have met the spider and I have met the vowel
> > > >> but to get together at the same time
> > > >> Rips!
> > > >>
> > > >> Stephen V
> > > >> http://stephenvincent.net/blog/
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > > Douglas Barbour
> > > > 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> > > > Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> > > > (780) 436 3320
> > > > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> > > >
> > > > Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E
> > Murphy)
> > > >
> > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > lipsynching awe all the way to the grave of the
> > unknown onus:
> > > > memory stutter; one smidgen, one scantling of
> > thank.
> > > >
> > > > Dennis Lee
> > >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Andrew
> > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> > http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits
> > http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
> >
> >
> >
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