The sonnet, I mean, which strikes me as being a bit over-written and
none too subtle. Either print it all out in CAPS so it comes across as
shouting (that might save it), or cut back on the penny-weight of
certain words. I generally like allusions, but these are clumsy. The
split infinitive spills out at the end like a cracker jack surprise! If
it doesn't come naturally.... But then again, what do I know? It's
taken me three weeks to get over jet-lag! Jess
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