Frederick, thank you for your suggestion: 'I like this a lot. Bone-dry,
convincing demotic voice. The scary ambiguity of "gone." You might
drop the "you" in line 7.' Dropping the repetition doesn't, as I feared,
reduce the menace; instead starting the line with 'get' gives it an
imperative drive.
David
http://www.nzepc.auckland.ac.nz/authors/howard/index.asp
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