On one Christmas Eve I was staying up late.
Reading and reading. Ah, Nineteen Fifty Eight!
Under the covers. By a Scout flashlight's beam.
The immortal poesy of a Midsummer Night's dream.
But I knew I was in trouble. The reason's because
I kinda liked Jesus but I loved Santa Claus.
Ah, I remember as through a black mist
That Jesus was very far down on my list:
I loved “Famous Monsters” my Davy Crockett lampshades,
Sugar Ray Robinson and Gillette Blue Blades.
I liked Classic Comics and wasn’t too fancy:
Loved Mutt and Jeff but couldn’t stand “Nancy.”
I hated Johnny De Matteo. But I loved his bike.
Liked to sleep on the patio and I didn’t like Ike.
Loved “Highway Patrol” and really loved “Topper.”
If he’d been around I would have liked Dennis Hopper.
I’d read the Iliad and liked that madman Achilles
Loved Chico Fernandez-- shortstop for the Phillies.
Liked watching my neighbor Maria Cantonese
Run screaming from me with my jarful of bees.
Liked the Lone Ranger and, of course, Rin Tin Tin.
Liked that old movie about Gunga Din.
I knew I was screwed up. Knew I was wrong.
But Jesus was nothing compared to King Kong.
But I knew I was in trouble. The reason's because
I kinda liked Jesus but I loved Santa Claus.
But that Christmas Eve I was reading the Bard.
Went to bed early. It always was hard
Waiting for all of those hours to pass
Until my Mom and my Dad came back from Mass.
Santa wouldn’t arrive until they went to bed
“I heard there’s a storm.” My Uncle Joe said.
“He’ll probably make it but I thought you’d like to know
That he’s stuck in a blizzard up near Buffalo.”
So I went up to bed and he said “Good Luck!”
And I stayed awake reading about Bottom and Puck.
The turned off the flashlight. My thoughts were so far
From our savior Jesus and the Christmas star.
Then…what was that sound? I turned on my pillow.
Looked out the window. It was Donna Fruillo.
Undressing! She must have forgotten to put down the shade!
Donna Fruillo! She was in the tenth grade.
The light went of in a flash but I saw what I saw.
Donna was naked! Was naked! And all
Thoughts of Christmas. Of Santa. The Bard!
Disappeared in an instant. Something was…hard.
This was so strange! And then my little hand
Crept under the covers as an angel band
Wept and cried out! But, what did I know?
I said to myself. “This is what Heaven’s like, Joe.
Grace directly from Jesus!” I finished and then
Prayed to Lord Jesus for it to happen again.
What a discovery! And that Christmas day.
I found many fine reasons to lie down and pray
Up in my bedroom behind my locked door.
If I had known about this…I would have loved Jesus before!
Again and again I was open to Heaven.
Again and again. My record was seven
Times in one night. I just offered a prayer
And thought of Oh Donna and Jesus was there.
But then all was ruined. On that New Year’s Eve
I told Johnny Doan how I’d come to believe.
How Jesus saved me. How my soul he did win.
And Johnny said gravely “That’s a mortal sin.
Right now you are headed directly to Hell.”
And I looked right at him and told him “Oh, well.
I guess I can go to hell if I wanna.”
And I cried out nightly “Oh, Donna! Oh, Donna!
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