As someone who had a close friend murdered not dissimilarly to this, it
affects me. Enormously. As a poem, yes it works on the level intended.
Dry. Clear. Whether irony survives the subject is another matter.
I rarely watch television any more because of the preponderance of
sado-violence -those 'crime' shows, the intent mostly directed toward
women. It makes me ill and depressed. And angry. In my childhood I had
the experience of seeing the damage that we do to each other, close-up.
And found solace from that world in literature.
It is a good poem. It makes me think. But am I wrong in wanting more -
what? Reflection? Not sure. It's not mine to ask more of a work than
what it is or presents.
Caleb
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Frederick Pollack
Sent: Thursday, 15 February 2007 11:22 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Snap 'Valentine's Day'
VALENTINE'S DAY
The joy in feeling
tired. Take your lady friend
out and that. We go
to the pub, the night
trots, laugh and carry on.
You get covered in blood but
you get used to it. They kick
for four or five seconds then
konk, gone. It's good work
and handy to home.
I like this a lot. Bone-dry, convincing demotic voice. The scary
ambiguity
of "gone." You might drop the "you" in line 7.
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