I must agree here with Kasper. This poem is outstanding, fascinating
imagery, but the last line destroys the flow of it.
- Peter Ciccariello
Image - http://invisiblenotes.blogspot.com/
Word - http://poemsfromprovidence.blogspot.com/
Photography - http://uncommonvision.blogspot.com/
On 1/10/07, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> this is very powerful in impression, as a sort of out of body experience
> that takes the reader to this warm, small, echoing, sunlit time & place.
> very approachable & tangible imagery, some beautiful metaphors. the last
> line KILLS it.
>
> KS
>
> On 10/01/07, Caleb Cluff <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > Off Marrickville Road
> >
> > We lived, you know.
> > We lived in a big house, owned by Greek greengrocers. We laughed at
> > that.
> > They gave us fruit, and vegetables, and dyed eggs at Easter.
> > There was a rusted rocketship outside our bedroom window,
> > a swimming pool in the park. One summer council built a roof over it,
> > charged double entry.
> > We climbed the fence naked at night, and weren't alone.
> >
> > In summer, we slept on the grass.
> > I went to the shop in my dressing gown, unconcerned.
> > You laced your shoes with black ribbons and made me undo them.
> > A housemate brought home a sack of potatoes because they were cheap.
> > The smell of them rotting.
> > I learned to make coffee, eat chillies, score.
> > A pane of glass fell from a window and didn't break.
> >
> > At 21, 22, 23 I loved you more completely.
> > The lino on our floor was torn. We made a special room of sheets.
> > Our lovers were leaves disappearing through the floorboards.
> > Some had soundtracks, one was an opera singer.
> > You seduced her on the couch, called her Dame Odalisque,
> > while I watched from the floor like a child.
> > We were children. We had smack. We lived.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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