the fullstops make it feel trying-too-hard, I didn't have them there at
first. to be axed.
the suddenness was on purpose, to juxtapose the everyday suburban sounds &
snapshots with something completely alien from that, but still in the same
'aural vicinity'. hrm. tumults may be a bit much.
thanks unca!
KS
On 10/01/07, Patrick Mc Manus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> KasperHi I found that I enjoyed this better on second reading -some seemed
> a
> bit trying too hard or too much / maybe to leave out the sudden arrival of
> whales pears hens and tumults of history
> such indifference of water & light, would be a good place (for me!) to
> finish saves spelling it out
> still it would be easier not to comment with my biases and prejudices
> cheers crafted P
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
> poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of kasper salonen
> Sent: 09 January 2007 23:06
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: craft
>
> this is one of several very recent poems, this felt most suitable to show
> you all for some reason.
> inspired by the quote at the top of this page:
> http://www.salvador-dali.org/dali/en_index.html
>
> craft, in the kitchen
>
> water froths a lid-peek
> on a hot stove, & steam
> gowns its speck balloons
> on the cabinets.
>
> a shut tube of light is clicked
> among the shelves of a packed
> cupboard, its hum lags & flickers.
>
> chairs in this late morning light
> are steady, hand-lain by Dal¨ª.
>
> the water of a glass is damper, rain
> tapping the windows awake.
>
> such indifference of water & light,
> the cry of a whale
> or a hen¨Da pear
> amidst the tumults
> of history
>
> KS
>
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