poetics! excellent!
----Original Message Follows----
From: kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Snap - 25/10
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:03:34 +0300
Caleb. I'm speechless.
no, not really. ;)
this is the way rhyming should be done. I rarely rhyme; not because I'm
unable, I think it's more a sort of trauma left over from the classicist
drivel that's considered the best of the best, where endrhymes are a matter
of propriety & schematic. but this is precisely how I'd want to bring about
an eased & controlled tone through endrhyme: it's a combination, as it
always is, of the rhythm & the imagery, which are really the meat of any
rhyme scheme. the scheme is just a frame (which I think is the reason I
can't stand a lot of 1800s english poetry; there's little meat, just frame
upon frame, custom upon custom).
what Imagery is to me is the combination of the image & of the language
itself; ok imagery might evoke an original image, but be unremarkable to the
point of being noticably so. GREAT imagery melds the two ingredients,
exactly as you've done here. "the wagtail builds a cup of mud" is pretty
much a flawless line. the almost imperceptible iambic tetrameter; the
specificity of 'wagtail' instead of 'bird'; the poetic personification in
the wagtail 'building' something; the assonance in 'cup of mud', and the
mildly folkloric decadence in the very concept of a cup made of mud (or of
mud being in the shape of a cup). these are all compressed beautifully into
a minimalistic & aurally pleasing line.
'loveless dam' also catches the eye especially.
there are gems all throughout: "The spider spins her broody sac", "hanging
in the sun to harden", the whole last stanza.
in terms of theme, this is also startling & poignant.
the wagtail builds a nest it defends, which seems 'honourable' (as far as
animals can have honour) but is really dysfunctional & joyless.
'swordstrokes' gives the impression of finesse, but I envision the wagtail
as frantic; it's only a small mention, not worth looking into necessarily
because the stanza works so well.
the spider, having snared victims all day, becomes herself a victim.
the duck is the only one that seems innocent in a way, she acts in good
faith and with good intention; but her lack of understanding ends in
tragedy.
these can all be traced as archetypes of PEOPLE, which is where the 'Life
lesson' comes in; these are warnings.
I love nature poetry, and one reason is that, to self-centered humans, all
our actions & inactions are mirrored in the animal & plant kingdoms; it
makes for some powerful metaphorising. the other reason is that nature,
ITSELF, is worthy of attention & pause & dramatising & minimising, and
everything else that poetry can afford it.
wonderful work Caleb.
KS
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