steam sagging is splendid.
great use of 'speech' twice, minimally (almost separate from the rest).
the poem overall feels a little impersonal, or maybe sluggish like
someone who's just woken up. but Good.
thanks for bugging me unca! soon
K S
On 24/08/06, Patrick Mc Manus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Caleb hi I had to get my dictionary out! -'Afferent &
> Axon' never seen in a poem before or anywhere were they real?
> But 'mindlessly' I am acquainted with
> was trough the sink?
> The high flown set against low flown is interesting but I expect by now that
> Kasper will have written several pages about it avoiding doing a snap!!:-)
> gosh these people that use smileys-humph
> Cheers P Afferent& axonal P
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
> poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Caleb Cluff
> Sent: 24 August 2006 03:26
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Snap late
>
> Early rising music
>
> The scour of radio,
> Cutting board on the kitchen sink
> sopped with water, salt and vinegar;
> steam sagging over the trough.
> "Outside the rain begins,"
>
> Wet chips of white stone underfoot.
> Dew alight as the sun lifts through fence wire.
> Every nerve strains, every axon sailing,
> afferent to day, set against myself. Mindlessly it goes.
> "and it will never end..."
>
> Caleb Cluff
> Majorca, Vic
> 24/08/06
>
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