"restoring" is rather ineffective, as it's so obviously more abstract
than the rest of the poem & because it looks like it's trying to be a
bit dramatic. or, you know. sunlight as a source of restoration is
also cliché.
this was much enjoyed otherwise, good stuff.
KS
On 26/07/06, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Cold Snap
>
> This fresh morning,
> the iced-over
> park greensward
> matches my frosted pate.
>
> By noon, enough sun
> will have reached the green,
> thawing, evaporating,
> restoring.
>
> Not so me, moving
> by a timing that's different,
> uncertain,
> towards dissolution.
>
> Max Richards
> Ruffey Lake Park
> Doncaster, Melbourne
>
> 26 July 2006
>
>
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>
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