I think I should attempt to refine my statements, as much as I can,
refinement and the slums of Brummagem don't sit easy together: I hate (this
doesn't sound refined) what people like Ron Silliman and Lawrence seem to
stand for, notice that 'seem': it's an impression I get, I might be totally
wrong, in which case I ask for their forgiveness. But that impression I get
is of 'gatekeepers', managerial controllers, massagers of who's in who's
out. I love the art of poetry, but the poetry scene sucks, the
disingenousness of people in it is breathtaking.
I can't do any more attempts at refinement, I'm not that good an actor.
Here's a love poem: I'm quite proud of it. The sentence beginning 'Your
frame stands' should be in italics but one can't do that on PEtc.
222
Shadows of hand holds
as the day shuts down.
Her furniture gathers
like a waiting forest.
Your frame stands
by the hallway door.
A window creaks
a mast in the wind
she maps
hand over hand over
timbres of rigging,
ropes of the line
----- Original Message -----
From: "David Bircumshaw" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 1:55 PM
Subject: Re: Snap
> > Actually, it seems to be based on the pentameter, with prosy flattening
> > as in the 2nd line, which is not inappropriate.
>
> Agree. The problem with the pentameter is that it can so easily drift into
> prose, without the right charge it ceases to be the heroic line but
shambles
> into a stumbling walking gait, like the Wordsworth of The Excursion.
>
> Btw Larence posted a Snap on a Tuesday, and I'm sure he knew it wasn't
> Wednesday. Talk about ownership and control: phew.
>
> Best
>
> Dave
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "MJ Walker" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 12:23 PM
> Subject: Re: Snap
>
>
> > Actually, it seems to be based on the pentameter, with prosy flattening
> > as in the 2nd line, which is not inappropriate. I don't understand
> > "uprouted" or the awkwardness of the next line; the shifting levels of
> > discourse combined with the recurrent iambic beat have something
> > hypnotic. As a snap (not a finished painting) it's quite suggestive.
> > mjay
> > David Bircumshaw wrote:
> >
> > >Prose.
> > >
> > >
> > >----- Original Message -----
> > >From: "Lawrence Upton" <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:55 AM
> > >Subject: Snap
> > >
> > >
> > >Is there a river here? It's not nearby.
> > >The land's been flattened out, where that's possible.
> > >One guesses where the valley might be left.
> > >There is no pattern to the dreary streets
> > >
> > >uprouted around new locked building.
> > >Much hangs where it was standing when death came.
> > >Perhaps all these walking now arrived
> > >later, though this morning they seem undead:
> > >
> > >a mode of simulation, a programme to be followed,
> > >a program without "me", a code, a fool's idea.
> > >It is a muddle of a foreign field
> > >the provenance of which might be unknown.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> > --
> > Onko onni unta vain?
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