I liked the restraint of Tina's snaps, Janet, but your comments were
interesting, making them even more restrained I guess....
On the other hand, & Tina may have already said this, 'remains' there
is both noun & verb, so works rather well....
Doug
On 16-May-06, at 10:08 PM, Janet Jackson wrote:
>> 3. Tower
>>
>> remains intact
>> despite bombs
>> & other assaults
>>
>> near the pinnacle
>> small chink - tufts
>> of chickweed bloom
>>
>> a magpie
>> overlooks
>> more formal
>> arrangements
>>
>
> The first two stanzas are very effective - so why bother with the
> magpie? I guess it was there! but perhaps it deserves its own poem.
>
> "Remains" in the first line may be unnecessary.
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
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Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
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The dew is on the vineleaves.
My tree
is lit with the
break of day.
Denise Levertov
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