I'm not all that fond of 'o' but you're right, it does work here.
I think you're also right about how 'may' & 'might' play out is
different here & there....
Doug
On 2-Apr-06, at 7:46 PM, Alison Croggon wrote:
> On 3/4/06 11:50 AM, "Andrew Burke" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> The word that bugged me was 'brute' - a little theatrical or
>> Sunday-paperish, methinks.
>
> "Brute" is the word that bothers me too, Andrew; I know it has that
> melodramatic edge. But I like that chime with "rot" and in other ways
> it's
> precisely what I want (brutish, brutalised...) And maybe there is that
> part
> of me that is, linguistically speaking, intellectually too I would say,
> quite crude. I wonder how much this hearing of "may" is to do with
> different
> idioms of English? Interesting...
>
> To be honest, I am not certain myself what I think of this poem. It
> feels
> clumsy to me in a misbegotten, lumpy way that isn't, on the other hand,
> necessarily a bad thing, since I often like poems by other people
> which seem
> to me to have that quality; ...but...
>
> Another draft. I restored a lyric "o" that I took out of the final
> verse;
> and maybe the rhythm there works slightly better now.
>
> All best
>
> A
>
>
> these arms might reach out
> in love or in trouble
> and you might answer them
> or you may not
>
> face down in the clay
> or among the detritus
> of a ruined house
> the naked arms outfling
> towards nothing
>
> as the woman who
> arches in delight
> and flings her empty arms
> towards the brighter angel
> that scorches her
>
> life in its ripeness
> or its barren edge,
> everything or nothing:
> it is the eyes watching
> that complete the gesture
>
> how tell a bruise coldly
> from the mindful lover
> or the brute?
> o one is warm and throbbing still
> and the other rots
>
>
>
>
> Alison Croggon
>
> Blog: http://theatrenotes.blogspot.com
> Editor, Masthead: http://masthead.net.au
> Home page: http://alisoncroggon.com
>
>
Douglas Barbour
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(780) 436 3320
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