Ah, yes, strong poem. But I have no problem with the 'may' word. Perhaps it
is the way we say it - not so accented, not so forcefully. In some other
syntactical constructions it would have a heavier emphasis but here it is
just a part of the phrase to my ear.
The word that bugged me was 'brute' - a little theatrical or
Sunday-paperish, methinks.
Cheers -
Andrew
----- Original Message -----
From: "Douglas Barbour" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 03, 2006 12:29 AM
Subject: Re: Poem
> Odd, here I am late, & I too found the poem powerful. But felt the same
> as you did Roger about that 'may', which actually sounded off to me as
> I read. But the empty arms throughout, Alison, is a very strong image,
> indeed.
>
> Doug
> On 31-Mar-06, at 11:34 AM, Roger Collett wrote:
>
> > Alison,
> >
> > I like this in general, but must take issue with the usage of _might_
> > and _may_ in the first stanza.
> >
> > Inherent in _may_ is a sense of permission, did you really mean this?
> > Or should it have been _might_ again?
> >
> > Awkward when a word gets repeated I know, but perhaps the sense gets
> > distorted here.
> >
> > Roger (A.Pedant)
> >
> > ----- Original Message ----- From: "Alison Croggon"
> > <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Friday, March 31, 2006 8:18 PM
> > Subject: Poem
> >
> >
> >> these arms might reach out
> >> in love or in trouble
> >> and you might answer them
> >> or you may not
> >>
> >> face down in the clay
> >> or among the detritus
> >> of a ruined house
> >> the naked arms outfling
> >> towards nothing
> >>
> >> as the woman who
> >> arches in delight
> >> and flings her empty arms
> >> towards the brighter angel
> >> that scorches her
> >>
> >> life in its ripeness
> >> or its barren edge,
> >> everything or nothing:
> >> it is the eyes watching
> >> that complete the gesture
> >>
> >> how tell a bruise coldly
> >> from the abashed lover
> >> or the erased brute?
> >> one is warm and throbbing still
> >> and the other rots.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Alison Croggon
> >>
> >> Blog: http://theatrenotes.blogspot.com
> >> Editor, Masthead: http://masthead.net.au
> >> Home page: http://alisoncroggon.com
> >> --
> >> This email has been verified as Virus free
> >> Virus Protection and more available at http://www.plus.net
> >
> >
> Douglas Barbour
> 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> (780) 436 3320
>
> Even-
> ing
> will
> come
>
> They
> will
> sew
> the
> Blue
> Sail
>
> Ian Hamilton Finlay
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