On 4/2/06, Rebecca Seiferle <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Oh, I went and looked up beta-blockers since I thought
> they were mostly for heart trouble, though perhaps,
> looking at that phrase, it was just that, in which
> case, there are plenty of times, I could have used

I am not a doctor and I was having issues at the time. Apparently, the
beta-blocker would be used in conjunction with the anti-depressant of
that time. I was in such a state that I rejected the effects
anti-depressant. It wasn't till I got to the step bck from the void
that the drugs started to do their work.

> one!  And I went and looked at the past posts but
> didn't see you on the lists earlier, it seemed that
> you returned after your breakup last May? Anyway, I'm

I've been on and off with different email addresses -
[log in to unmask], [log in to unmask] amongst them.
Occassionally I've dropped off the list out of sheer emotional
(self)-pressure. I have been known to take things a tad seriously.

> glad that you found that therapy helped, that it gave
> you the validity of your own experience, and access to
> different aspects of your creativity. Therapy has been
> helpful to me too, in some ways, and I only wish that
> I'd gone a long time ago, as it's made me aware of how
> much stuff, what I'll just call these hollow
> constructs of various sorts, familial wounds, had a
> destructive effect upon me and my relationship.
> However, I don't think it makes one a different
> person, or really changes anything in one's deepest
> fractures, or feelings, and perhaps there is some
> sense in which it could be criticized for that reason,
> it makes one more bearable to what I'll just call
> social interaction, having more ways to live with
> one's fractures or feelings. There are certain things
> that are excruciating, some tears which never end,
> even if one might learn not to bother others with
> them, and it seems to me that nothing, not therapy,
> not reading, not philosophy, not art, makes any
> difference though they might keep one moving. But,
> perhaps, that's just me. Anyway, I don't know, someone
> else will have to say if you're a different person,

Sure. I may have been exagerating a bit. I feel a lot different, more
confident, happier, more resistance to my past and it's allures, the
predominant theme of much of my poetry.

I've used the metaphors and analogies from my sessions to go towards
the collection I hope to publish this year or next - the rough draft
of which is here: http://www.badstep.net/text/poetry/sojourninwinter/

> though I am surprised and glad for  your openness and
> warmth in this discussion since I had a somewhat
> impression of you as more crusty, but then there is
> that hidden libelling one so perhaps it just went
> underground!
>
> Cheers,
>
> Rebecca

I'm trying to be more open. It seemed a good time to interject.

Cheers
Roger

PS This thread and it's various rivulets breached the 200 mark a while
ago. Go, team!

--
http://www.badstep.net/
http://www.cb1poetry.org.uk/