Andrew, being with WHC since 2000, I realize the difference in
seasons/weather - from other members - the term "first of the year", to me,
implied new year - first snow ... maybe arranging
the wording might help to clarify the meaning or image?
Sorry, Douglas - I didn't catch it the first time around.
>Wwell, February means heat and never ever snow to us here (I've in fact
>never seen snow) - and 'first of the year' wasn't actually New Year Day he
>was speaking of.
>
>Andrew
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "deborah russell" <[log in to unmask]>
> > Unless "February snow" is counted as one - I think the poem has three
>kigo:
> >
> > 1)February
> > 2)snow
> > 3)first of the year
> > >Doug - the norm in modern haiku in English is not to be enslaved to
>5/7/5
> > >syllables, as Japanese onji are so short (as the syllables in
>'po-ta-to').
> > >We try for maybe 3/5/3, but really aim at more the essence of haiku
>than
> > >its
> > >outer garments.
> > >
> > >So, with that said, I'd flick 'really the' in line 2. It gives the
>haiku
>a
> > >more expressive pace to go with 'flares', IMHO.
> > >
> > >Not meaning to teach my grandmother how to suck eggs, Doug -
> > >
> > >Regards -
> > >
> > >Andrew
> > >
> > >----- Original Message -----
> > >From: "Douglas Barbour" <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2006 6:32 AM
> > >Subject: Re: snap haiku 22 II 06
> > >
> > >
> > > > February's snow
> > > > really the first of the year
> > > > flares across the lawn
> > > >
> > > > Wednesday February 22 2006
> > > >
> > > > Douglas Barbour
> > > > 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> > > > Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> > > > (780) 436 3320
> > > >
> > > > The stars wheel over
> > > > The Cross drops its image
> > > > Into the watertank.
> > > >
> > > > David Campbell
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