Hi dear Deborah,
I hoped till the end you were talking of your father /seen the title: family
matters. Funny, isn't it, that one just has ideas and these ideas become
feelings and then you fight for these feelings, to the point that you wish
someone else was hit by an event instead of the person for whom you have
felt, even if this someone else is dear to the one who is dear to you.
I will try to pray for you, even if my prayers are so different, maybe more
similar to your imaginary rosaries. I am wishing you a good doctor, someone
who can understand your disease and win it out of your body,
my affection, Anny
From: "Deborah Humphreys" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2006 12:34 PM
> family matters
>
> when i got the news
> my mind ran with it
> not away but deep
> /
> i'm trained to see things
> minor changes, subtext
> the meaning of the most
> ordinary things
> /
> but i did not see this coming
> i know cancer is a frequent visitor
> my zip code has a certain distinction
> for this. in the last year i have
> been at bedsides, wakes, funeral masses
> of friends and not-so friends
> each time counting like beads on my virtual rosary
> how my family has missed this curse
> we have others
> /
> i have my superstitutions, my poet intuitions
> and craziness. in my family genogram
> is my great grandaunt, another nun
> exactly 100 years apart to the month of our birth
> and entered the convent at the same age
> and now i am nearing the same age
> as when she died. i love her in the way
> i love all my genealogically-discovered kin
> at a distance and silent. i'm not ready for a chat
> i'd rather imagine her life without the facts
> the spoiler
> /
> i always dreaded 55 the age
> when my mother began
> her long courtship with alzheimers
> i think maybe i'll take this--instead
>
> this seems like a better hand
>
> Deborah in Newark
> 6:27 am 1/18/06
> the first day after the word
>
>
> This is a great community and I'd appreciate your good thoughts,
> vibrations, prayers. I have Stage III ovarian cancer suddenly discovered
> and diagnosed yesterday. I'll be in the hospital on Monday for surgery. A
> routine pre-colonoscopy exam enabled me to find out.
>
> Deborah Humphreys
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Blog: http://deborahsc.blogs.com/blasta/
>
> www.nunwhizdom.com
>
>
> Dingle's Website http://www.dogster.com/?125048
>
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