Hi Christina,
An interesting piece of prose-poetry here.
Though I do notice you have (also) said you've been wondering about the how
and when of the line breaks...
A couple of thoughts:
I guess lines in poems, like paragraphs in prose, are as much intuitive as
anything else...
However it could be that "Some" of the lines feel more natural and, if they
find themselves creating space after they'd got their their words lined up,
they might give other groups of words a nudge...
Or things could be done by counting syllables!
I found, with my Wet Child sonnets I did them in syllabics which actually
created many interesting rhythmic possibilities.
... Or counting the words! (5 or 6 words per line is interesting...)
I think the best words are possibly, or probably, all in the best order - so
it might just be playtime.
Bob
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Nancy
>Date: Mon, 4 Dec 2006 02:22:44 -0000
>
>Nancy
>
>A year ago, when I took this photograph, she was ninety-six: ten years
>older than my father. By chance, I caught the moment just after she
>snuffed the candle flame. Smoke drifts over her pink fairy cake in its
>corrugated brown paper case, the crimp and cockle of her frock, the pilling
>on her cardigan. I can't tell at all what she's thinking as she watches
>the smoke.
>
>This birthday, her eyes and ears are failing. She can't follow patterns.
>She knits a scarf. She knits another. My father's dead. She doesn't like
>the chocolates. The canary won't sing.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>christina fletcher
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