Hi Arthur,
The 2nd stanza feels flimsy to me.
In fact, I wonder if that and the 1st stanza are needed?
The line: "The monstrous pagan glory of our local fire," starts the poem far
better for me.
I like the heavy, weighty, iambic beat of the lines - they suit the subject.
Bob
>From: Arthur Seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New post: The Ashes are still smouldering
>Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2006 16:37:04 -0000
>
>The ashes are still smouldering.
>
>
>
>The Celts it was who burned
>
>a fire of bones at Samahain
>
>when seed-drop passes
>
>and the long dark folded them in.
>
>Their festival of fire modelled the sun,
>
>purified and disbanded the gathered hordes of dead,
>
>the ghosts and ghouls that clamoured at their doors;
>
>gurned from spiked skulls; went bump in the night.
>
>
>
>For the Chinese
>
>fireworks worked
>
>in much the same way.
>
>
>
>The monstrous pagan glory of our local fire,
>
>whose flames billowed and swung,
>
>lurched in the drawn draught
>
>was our model of the sun
>
>that gilded turned faces,
>
>scorched the attendant trees,
>
>withered the shrubs,
>
>but the summoned evil remained unbanished.
>
>
>
>Instead the wolf packs prowled,
>
>the hurters and the harmers,
>
>staggered through the crowd,
>
>burning others with their drunken
>
>and unreasoned spite,
>
>a child's sparkler wielded in another's face,
>
>others spilled legless in the grass
>
>as sky- thrown stars
>
>flickered and danced across the moon
>
>etched their slack bodies with savage flashes
>
>after all it's a laugh innit.
>
>
>
>The ashes smoulder now,
>
>the wisps of yesterday spin up,
>
>the clearing reeks,
>
>no drizzle dowses slowly.
>
>For some brief hours
>
>this and the Otherworld
>
>brushed against each other
>
>in the darkest time,
>
>the veil was rent
>
>and all hell was loosed;
>
>sanity remains unrestored.
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