Hello Bob, titles can be a real pain at times can't they? A poem can be
spoiled by an inadequate title. Maybe we should rise to your challenge. Post
a poem and let's all give it a whirl!
And yes I'm one of those who at the clock change time of year has to count
on her fingers to see which way...
The Irish have a saying 'when God made time he made plenty of it' but I'm
not sure they're right... it seems to go very fast whichever way the clocks
are being turned!
best wishes,
Gill
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, November 05, 2006 1:24 PM
Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock (Gill)
Hi Gill,
Yes -- daft grin -- I started to worry, wondering if I'd turned my clocks
forward or back last weekend!
And we know, from the poem, that it's autumn.
But, now I start to focus on the title, I wonder if there are other titles
lurking around, waiting to appear... I like what the title's doing: setting
a context for the text that will follow, looking at the poem in a slightly
slant kind of way.
I sort of get a picture of someone walking "At The Edge Of The Town" - but I
might be totally wrong in placing the poem there! The word "edge" appeals to
me! It might be that a the title could offer something else... I love titles
that intrigue at the start, then offer even more after the poem is read.
Writes Bob
... who's now thinking it might be interesting to think of givining a poem
to a group of people - in a class or as a competition - and suggesting they
find the best title!
>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock
>Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2006 12:06:27 -0000
>
>PS perhaps not setting the clocks forward but simply "changing the clock".
>Forgot they go back in autumn - silly me!
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Gill McEvoy" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Sunday, November 05, 2006 9:32 AM
>Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock
>
>
>>Dear Sally I like some of your images here very much, especially the fox's
>>mad eye - brilliant. but there is a tiny suspicion of sentimentality in
>>some of the lines that I would get rid of if it were my poem -'each
>>crackled tear sticks to my soul' in particular. You could alternatively
>>'crack tears under your feet'- that would give strength and resolution to
>>the poem as if you were casting off the past. And I'd change the title to
>>setting the clock forward to enhance that idea.
>>But it reads beautifully and it has a very fine lyricism. And Arthur is
>>right: that lyrical voice of yours is gaining strength rapidly! I don't
>>know your history, please forgive me if I've trodden on a toe.
>>love,
>>Gill
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Saturday, November 04, 2006 10:18 AM
>>Subject: new sub, Turning back the clock
>>
>>
>>Turning back the clock.
>>
>>The moon, a foxes mad eye
>>glares between stark branches
>>of an unclothed tree.
>>Spying in the twilight
>>it creeps across moors
>>still glowing from
>>the aftermath of sunset.
>>I walk upon the crumpled gown
>>of autumn, each crackled tear
>>sticking to my soul.
>>Mist hovers in the hedgerows.
>>Clouds circle my head, protect
>>from the prickle of holly, yet
>>droplets of berries still bleed
>>in this star-less dusk.
>>
>>Sally James
>>
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