Thanks Gill. The" crackled tear sticks to my soul "has a double meaning it
is a play on words, Tear as in ripped and soul as in sole of a shoe. My
history is that of a lot of loss in recent years and illness which I am now
coming through. Thanks and best wishes Sally J
>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock
>Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2006 09:32:17 -0000
>
>Dear Sally I like some of your images here very much, especially the fox's
>mad eye - brilliant. but there is a tiny suspicion of sentimentality in
>some of the lines that I would get rid of if it were my poem -'each
>crackled tear sticks to my soul' in particular. You could alternatively
>'crack tears under your feet'- that would give strength and resolution to
>the poem as if you were casting off the past. And I'd change the title to
>setting the clock forward to enhance that idea.
>But it reads beautifully and it has a very fine lyricism. And Arthur is
>right: that lyrical voice of yours is gaining strength rapidly! I don't
>know your history, please forgive me if I've trodden on a toe.
>love,
>Gill
>
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, November 04, 2006 10:18 AM
>Subject: new sub, Turning back the clock
>
>
>Turning back the clock.
>
>The moon, a foxes mad eye
>glares between stark branches
>of an unclothed tree.
>Spying in the twilight
>it creeps across moors
>still glowing from
>the aftermath of sunset.
>I walk upon the crumpled gown
>of autumn, each crackled tear
>sticking to my soul.
>Mist hovers in the hedgerows.
>Clouds circle my head, protect
>from the prickle of holly, yet
>droplets of berries still bleed
>in this star-less dusk.
>
>Sally James
>
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