Hi Gill,
Yes -- daft grin -- I started to worry, wondering if I'd turned my clocks
forward or back last weekend!
And we know, from the poem, that it's autumn.
But, now I start to focus on the title, I wonder if there are other titles
lurking around, waiting to appear... I like what the title's doing: setting
a context for the text that will follow, looking at the poem in a slightly
slant kind of way.
I sort of get a picture of someone walking "At The Edge Of The Town" - but I
might be totally wrong in placing the poem there! The word "edge" appeals to
me! It might be that a the title could offer something else... I love titles
that intrigue at the start, then offer even more after the poem is read.
Writes Bob
... who's now thinking it might be interesting to think of givining a poem
to a group of people - in a class or as a competition - and suggesting they
find the best title!
>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock
>Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2006 12:06:27 -0000
>
>PS perhaps not setting the clocks forward but simply "changing the clock".
>Forgot they go back in autumn - silly me!
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Gill McEvoy" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Sunday, November 05, 2006 9:32 AM
>Subject: Re: new sub, Turning back the clock
>
>
>>Dear Sally I like some of your images here very much, especially the fox's
>>mad eye - brilliant. but there is a tiny suspicion of sentimentality in
>>some of the lines that I would get rid of if it were my poem -'each
>>crackled tear sticks to my soul' in particular. You could alternatively
>>'crack tears under your feet'- that would give strength and resolution to
>>the poem as if you were casting off the past. And I'd change the title to
>>setting the clock forward to enhance that idea.
>>But it reads beautifully and it has a very fine lyricism. And Arthur is
>>right: that lyrical voice of yours is gaining strength rapidly! I don't
>>know your history, please forgive me if I've trodden on a toe.
>>love,
>>Gill
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Saturday, November 04, 2006 10:18 AM
>>Subject: new sub, Turning back the clock
>>
>>
>>Turning back the clock.
>>
>>The moon, a foxes mad eye
>>glares between stark branches
>>of an unclothed tree.
>>Spying in the twilight
>>it creeps across moors
>>still glowing from
>>the aftermath of sunset.
>>I walk upon the crumpled gown
>>of autumn, each crackled tear
>>sticking to my soul.
>>Mist hovers in the hedgerows.
>>Clouds circle my head, protect
>>from the prickle of holly, yet
>>droplets of berries still bleed
>>in this star-less dusk.
>>
>>Sally James
>>
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