Hi Sally,
Of the poems you've submitted recently I like this one best. I'm grabbed by 
the first line! And the last line. And much else inbetween.
But the word "soul" I suggest is a no-no. In fact I find the line before 
that line and that line a bit of a puzzle. Is it tear as in tearing fabric, 
or a tear as in water from the eye? I guess it's the former but...
And "droplets of berries"??? sounds odd to me. And how can droplets they 
bleed? It sounds like an almost-right-but-not-quite phrase to me...
I think a little tinkering with the little wobbly-word tinkers and it's 
there.
The last line, with it's simple straightforward words, is saying something 
so powerful. It ends the poem so well!
Bob


>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub, Turning back the clock
>Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2006 10:18:02 +0000
>
>Turning back the clock.
>
>The moon, a foxes mad eye
>glares between stark branches
>of an unclothed tree.
>Spying in the twilight
>it creeps across moors
>still glowing from
>the aftermath of sunset.
>I walk upon the crumpled gown
>of autumn, each crackled tear
>sticking to my soul.
>Mist hovers in the hedgerows.
>Clouds circle my head, protect
>from the prickle of holly, yet
>droplets of berries still bleed
>in this star-less dusk.
>
>Sally James
>
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