Thank you both for your comments. Yes I became aware that this is almost an
hiaku Gill. I have reworked it but sometimes I find that the shortest poems
I write need the most work on. Best wishes to you both Sally J
>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new Sub Autumn
>Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2006 18:56:44 +0100
>
>Dear Sally,
>I'm with Bob here; but did think that in the last three lines of the poem
>you have almost got a natural haiku; is that perhaps what it should become?
>every good wish,
>Gill
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, October 14, 2006 8:15 PM
>Subject: new Sub Autumn
>
>
>> Autumn
>>
>>
>>Every soft sigh of earth mellows
>> in twilight hours
>>as the ancient tick of time echoes
>> over moon silvered moors.
>>
>>Not a sound to be heard
>>when each day shortens
>>only the creak of the oak tree
>> and groan of dead leaves
>> falling.
>>
>>Sally James
>>
>>
>>
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