Yes I have reworked this poem since sending. It started of as quite long. I
shortened it to these two stanza's. I am a woman of changing moods like the
seasons and Autumn makes me feel quite sad. I have been well enough to walk
my dogs quite near where I live. I am lucky at being so close to nature. It
is written about this favorite place in Edenfield. I am also studying Yeats
at the moment and he is affecting my writing I think. Bw Sally J
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new Sub Autumn
>Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2006 16:51:55 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>I like the 2nd stanza far more than the first.
>Is that because "the ancient tick of time" sounds, well, sort of suspect?
>Probably...
>But the whole stanza feels kind of unreal as well!
>
>But I'm thinking the second stanza feels more interesting. The puzzle of
>saying, "not a sound" and then mentioning two(!) is mischevious. I guess
>it's good poetic technique to mention the macro and the micro close to each
>other like this. I sense it works.
>
>If you think it's important to mention the twilight why not mention it in
>the title? Perhaps, "October Twilight, Name-of-place"
>
>Bob
>
>
>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: new Sub Autumn
>>Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2006 20:15:36 +0100
>>
>> Autumn
>>
>>
>>Every soft sigh of earth mellows
>> in twilight hours
>>as the ancient tick of time echoes
>> over moon silvered moors.
>>
>>Not a sound to be heard
>>when each day shortens
>>only the creak of the oak tree
>> and groan of dead leaves
>> falling.
>>
>>Sally James
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