Hi Matt,
Thanks for the comments. I'm still fiddling with this! It's often the
simplest of pieces that offers the most decisions to be made!
Bob
>From: Matt Merritt <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Every Sha-la-la-la
>Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:07:22 +0000
>
>Hi Bob,
>I've got nothing useful to suggest here, except that what Gill said sounds
>worth trying. But it's a fine poem as it is.
>Should there be a full stop (or maybe "with") after "slow things down"?
>I like "chatter" and "clatter" in the last stanza - I'm heaaring the sounds
>as I read that.
>Regards,
>Matt
>
>
>>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Every Sha-la-la-la
>>Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2006 14:23:42 +0000
>>
>>All commments welcome!
>>
>>Every Sha-la-la-la
>>
>>Two students play violin and cello,
>>intricate Vivaldi, then slow things down
>>The Carpenters: Yesterday Once More
>>
>>and those at the street café tables
>>from Kansas, Castleford, the two men in kilts,
>>stop saying things, only touch their drinks,
>>
>>and look different. Every face shows something
>>about who they once were, what they know.
>>Then it’s Vivaldi again, another season,
>>
>>and, as chatter rises, laughter clatters each table,
>>shifts the weight on each chair. More beer is ordered,
>>froth slides down each emptied glass.
>>
>>
>>Bob Cooper
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