Hi Christina,
I liked this very much, the music of it very bit as much as the content. The
first stanza in particular sounds great to me (and "not to lose my sixpence"
conjured up two quite different connotations - hope that doesn't say
anything about the way my mind works!).
I think my only nit was the one Gary picked up on. In the penultimate line,
I'd lose the "and".
Regards,
Matt
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Father
>Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2006 05:25:51 EDT
>
>
>
>Father
>
>Imprint in my thick skull
>the knack of words and trick of laughter.
>Teach me to turn time to bright days
>on Jaywick Sands, not to lose my sixpence.
>
>Sure-footed, those donkeys: the way
>their branded hooves negotiate the path
>as bells jingle and their long ears prick
>to pick up distant sounds.
>
>Train me to hear what's beyond this city's sirens
>and my own babble, to see
>past tower blocks and to draw true lines
>in your long, lost memory.
>
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>christina fletcher
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