Hi Arthur,
You're style has changed!
And oh, the subtleties of not having any commas or full stops! Here their 
absence seems to make me feel the writer is almost recapturing a childhood 
that's gone...
I like the story this tells, the details it includes, and what it doesn't 
say - which, here. seems very important too.
I feel the last line doesn't work too well for me. It seems too much. I'm 
wondering how I would feel if it ended with the previous line?
Bob


>From: Arthur Seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: My Dad
>Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2006 18:06:59 +0100
>
>My Dad
>
>
>
>It's something I always wanted to do
>
>and I always said that when I had the time
>
>I would write a poem about the way my dad
>
>spoke differently
>
>from all the rest of us in our family
>
>well he was a cockney born in Stepney
>
>a real cockney
>
>who met me mum in Halifax
>
>and married her
>
>but when the war came he had to go to Egypt
>
>so we were all brought up in Yorkshire
>
>while he were away for five years in the war
>
>and when he came home
>
>we had grown up and he had changed
>
>so they said but I don't know about that
>
>because I couldn't remember
>
>just what he was like anyway
>
>or even what he looked like
>
>although me mum made us
>
>include him in our prayers at bedtime
>
>and there was a photo of him on the wall
>
>but all I could really remember before that
>
>was I was six and had my wellies on the wrong feet
>
>when he came down to the railings round our school
>
>to say good bye before he went off to the war
>
>when he came home we waited at the station for hours
>
>for his train to come but it was late
>
>what with the war still being on and everything
>
>that war messed up all sorts of things
>
>lives, countries, families, train times
>
>and history I suppose.
>
>He was never happy after that
>
>couldn't settle to anything
>
>but he always seemed different
>
>from the rest of us
>
>what with the way he spoke
>
>and us not really having grown up with him around
>
>and he died quite young in the finish
>
>but I said I would write a poem about how
>
>he always spoke different from the rest of us
>
>and now I have.