dear Sally, I think this is a very poignant, lovely poem, hits the
spot -ouch!
Christina's right about the title: why not simply "Music in the Park"; we'll
know it's brass from your mention of the euphonium. And I think I'd omit the
lines "Your voice connecting with me" and go straight to "your voice
singing" etc.
Isn't it easy to take a spanner to someone else's poem and tighten it up?
And how hard it is to do that for yourself, which is why we need a forum
like this. I still have to get around to Margaret's ferret poem which I
loved.
good wishes always,
Gill
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:46 AM
Subject: new sub Brass band music in the park
> Brass band music in the park
>
> June and hot
> and
> music
> floating
> in the air
> dancing
> like
> a butterfly
> among the flowers.
> You in spirit,
> connecting
> with me
> your voice
> singing
> from
> the euphonium
> to remind me
> that
> there is
> no measure of time,
> nothing,
> that can
> ever
> erase
> the memories
> of the love
> you had for me.
>
>
>
>
> Sally James
>
>
>
> --
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>
>
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