Dear Bob, mostly I like this poem; maybe it could do with a sharp pair of
scissors taken to it. I'd prefer to see the bit about direct reference to a
poem kept in, I liked that. I did wonder about the end, thought maybe you
could arrive at the corridors, and ask yourself which one should you take,
leaving out "perhaps silence. It's where I want to be" , simply because if
it's about making a poem there is never a set direction....I particularly
liked your 2 opening lines, they're superb and catch both eye and ear. It
got a bit overdone, I felt, after that until you reached "I don't think
where my feet will fall" -this was wonderful and so, if it were my poem,
I'd cut out the lines between.
But at least you are doing your bit for the empty tea table....!
sincerely, Gill
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2006 9:16 PM
Subject: Taking Each Line For A Walk...
Even though it's as quiet as the tea pot at the Mad Hatter's party, if
there's anyone at the table here's one for some chatter or comments:
Taking Each Line For A Walk
I open the door of a word
and walk down the path of what I'm saying.
I hear each step, feel the gravel,
reach the crisp pavement then stroll
to go where I'm going. Walking is noisy
and this is the way I go from where I began
to where I'll end up. I don't think
where my feet will fall or, if I pause,
where I'll stand. I just keep moving.
I don't linger, as you are doing now
to think is this what happens in a poem.
When I get there I will reach another door.
Though solid it's not a full stop. It can open.
Inside there'll be more doors, noisy corridors,
perhaps silence. It's where I want to be.
Bob cooper
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