I am not too bad today thanks Gill and the weather is so lovely. I really
look forward to your pamphlet as I really like your poetry. I also like
Helena Nelson's work too and have read her pamphlet and heard her read In
Scotland. best wishes Sally J
>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub Little Deer
>Date: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:22:47 +0100
>
>Hi Sally, and thank you. The book is called "Uncertain days" and will be
>available from July 1st. Details will then be on www.happenstancepress.com
>You can buy by post or online, and it's only £3, so hopefully it won't
>leave anyone broke!
>hope you're having a good day whatever you're doing (writing another poem
>to keep us all busy?),
>warmest good wishes,
>Gill
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Sunday, June 04, 2006 5:03 PM
>Subject: Re: New Sub Little Deer
>
>
>>Congratulations this must be very exiting for you and so thrilling too.
>>Let me know when your pamphlet is available. Bw Sally J
>>
>>
>>>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>Subject: Re: New Sub Little Deer
>>>Date: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 13:25:09 +0100
>>>
>>>dear Sally, I realise that in your circumstances your pc must be a very
>>>valuable link for you. The reason I've been "missing" for so long -may I
>>>tell you, because it is very exciting - is that my first pamphlet of
>>>poetry is being published this year (July, in fact) by Happenstance. I've
>>>had to work hard at proof reading and making various changes but it has
>>>been a wonderful experience! Even if it were not my book, it has been
>>>fascinating to see how a book comes together, it's quite a task!
>>>do hope you keep well, sincerely,
>>>Gill
>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Sent: Sunday, June 04, 2006 12:02 PM
>>>Subject: Re: New Sub Little Deer
>>>
>>>
>>>>Thank you Gill I am not offended at all by your suggestions. In fact I
>>>>have been thinking of changing the last line since Bob mentioned it and
>>>>I do believe the poem is improved by your suggestions too.
>>>>I am glad you have joined in. I was beginning to think that the Works
>>>>was on the wane. Some poetic alliteration here. I have been on the list
>>>>since John Carley established it. I think this was 2000 I am not sure.
>>>>Thank you too for the kind comments you made. Some days my computer is
>>>>my only links with the outside world so I am glad I can share my hobby
>>>>of writing poetry with like minded people. Best wishes Sally J
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>>Subject: Re: New Sub Little Deer
>>>>>Date: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 11:28:40 +0100
>>>>>
>>>>>Dear Sally, you and Bob have been holding lonely court for long enough.
>>>>>I'm still "out here", reading, and now responding. I like this poem and
>>>>>I think it could be made much neater and more succinct by a few small
>>>>>changes, if I may suggest.
>>>>>
>>>>>This would be how i would lay out the poem:
>>>>>
>>>>>There he goes in the night, his lithe body
>>>>>springing across the country road.
>>>>>
>>>>>His spindle legs dance him into empty fields
>>>>>where trees have disappeared and dark moors beckon.
>>>>>
>>>>>The slim moon only a quarter shining, he leaps
>>>>>into the night, following trails long gone.
>>>>>
>>>>>You can see I've left out all the "bambi-ish" bits Bob mentioned, and I
>>>>>have changed your 'black moors' into 'dark moors' because black moors
>>>>>sounds too close to 'black-a-moor'. I've also changed 'leaps into the
>>>>>dark' to 'leaps into the night'.
>>>>>
>>>>>You're probably sitting back and saying how dare she? But truly this is
>>>>>not meant to offend: I see lovely things in your poem; I often notice
>>>>>you have a lyrical fluency which is to me quite beautiful ( and rare
>>>>>these days!), so I offer you these comments in hopes they might be
>>>>>helpful.
>>>>>
>>>>>And if you're reading this too, Bob, hello to you too - and now we are
>>>>>three!
>>>>>
>>>>>sincerely,
>>>>>Gill McEvoy.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>Sent: Saturday, June 03, 2006 3:19 PM
>>>>>Subject: New Sub Little Deer
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>Little Deer.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>There he goes in the night, his lithe body,
>>>>>>hesitant at first, then springing across the country road.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Too young to be out late searching for his mother,
>>>>>>trying to capture her scent in the cold damp air.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>His spindle legs dance him into empty fields
>>>>>>where trees have disappeared and black moors beckon.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>With the slim moon only a quarter shining, he leaps
>>>>>>into the dark, tries to find trails long gone.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I think of him now, nostrils quivering, ears alert,
>>>>>>his wide eyes moist when he finds his mother.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Sally James
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>--
>>>>>>No virus found in this incoming message.
>>>>>>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>>>>>>Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.0/353 - Release Date:
>>>>>>31/05/2006
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>--
>>>>No virus found in this incoming message.
>>>>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>>>>Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.0/353 - Release Date:
>>>>31/05/2006
>>>>
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>>--
>>No virus found in this incoming message.
>>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>>Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.0/353 - Release Date: 31/05/2006
>>
>>
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