It may be a bit "in yer face "I don't know Bob as every one has their own
style of writing. I do like the poem though very much. My poem did get
through by the way and I have revised it since I sent it in to the Works.
Will send the three times revised version soon. Best wishes Sally J
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Poetics & The Sense Of Place Sally
>Date: Mon, 29 May 2006 17:15:14 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>Thanks for the comments - the tightenings you suggest are things I'm
>intending to do.
>I'm still not too sure about the first line... I think the one I submitted
>is too lumpy, has too many words, but I'm wondering if yours sounds too
>powerfully "in yer face" - but perhaps it ought to be!
>Bob
>PS I'm replying to your poem next!
>
>
>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: Poetics & The Sense Of Place
>>Date: Sun, 28 May 2006 11:20:06 +0100
>>
>>I really like this Bob, I am not so sure of the title though as it seems a
>>bit too academic for me as if it was a topic for discussion. I think the
>>first line could begin "I love breathing air like this". I have bracketed
>>a few words that didn't seem to fit in for me. I hope you don't mind. But
>>I do like the poem very much and I have bracketed a lovely line about the
>>graffiti on the walls but for me it didn't quite fit in. I think the last
>>line is o.k.
>>I did send a poem in for discussion but it doesn't seem to have arrived
>>yet so maybe others are having the same dificulty. I will check again in
>>case I have missed it. I have been away for a week so have a lot of emails
>>to catch up on. best wishes Sally J
>>
>>
>>>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>Subject: Poetics & The Sense Of Place
>>>Date: Sat, 27 May 2006 15:29:26 +0000
>>>
>>>Here's a splash of a piece to disturb the quietness.
>>>& it's only a 2nd draft! But I'm OK about the title - it's the 1st and
>>>last lines that worry me most - but they might feel Ok to you, I guess...
>>>
>>>
>>>Poetics & The Sense Of Place
>>>
>>>(I should always know) I love breathing air like this
>>>outside the off-license at the bottom of Smoggie Lane
>>>holding cans of the cheapest beer, each slow lungful
>>>far better than at Wasdale Head( at the same time)
>>>where there’s no exhaust fumes from a bus
>>>as it clatters (while it )pulls out and moves on,
>>>(and the graffiti on the shelter are love poems,)
>>>where there’s no invisible grime settling on my face
>>>(with ) as the August sun lowers its amber disc
>>>between St Jo’s and Roger’s Bike Shop
>>>before touching the railway embankment and bridge
>>>then filling the arch with its blaze as I walk.
>>>
>>>Bob Cooper
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