Hi James,

This is a fun read!
I've never had any fun - and no success - with making pantouns so I'm 
envious! I used to get nowhere I felt happy with, or excited with, when I 
should be ending the piece!
The mixture of registers works well for me.
But I'm not sure, myself, about the word, Neanderthal... I guess it needs 
some sort of slang word but I keep seeing the word "sinister" and working 
rather hard to join up my thinking at the end of the poem...

Bob



>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Experiment With Supermarket Trolleys
>Date: Sat, 20 May 2006 10:59:25 +0000
>
>I'm playing with the pantoum form at the moment and have dispensed with the 
>rhyming sequence. It sems to open other possibilities. This is a sample.
>
>EXPERIMENT WITH SUPERMARKET TROLLEYS
>
>with four more supermarket trolleys on the river bed
>it seems to suggest the experiment is complete
>this is proof supermarket trolleys do not float
>anything to the contrary does not hold water
>
>it seems to suggest the experiment is complete
>after day and night dumpings from the quayside
>anything to the contrary does not hold water
>with statistical correolations
>
>after day and night dumping from the quayside
>to include weather conditions and tidal variables
>with statistical correolations
>puts distance on previous theories throughout
>
>to include weather conditions and tidal variables
>the original proposition just seems sinister now
>puts distance on previous theories throughout
>the person who does not believe us is a Neanderthal
>
>the original proposition just seems sinister now
>this is proof supermarket trolleys do not float
>the person who does nor believe us is a Neanderthal
>with four more super market trolleys on the river bed
>
>
>
>bw
>James