Hi Sally,
Ah, social drinking - as Charles Kennedy called it!
I'm wondering about the 1st four lines... they seem a bit loose. I guess
it's because the word "happy" appears twice.
It might work OK if the first line was omitted. Whaddya think?
Maybe:
"You feel it as soon as the glass touches your lips,
your mouth widening into a grin.
Immediate happiness as the contents
swirl around your mouth and your tongue..."
Bob
>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub Drinking from crystal
>Date: Mon, 15 May 2006 13:18:30 +0100
>
>Drinking from crystal
>
>
>Drinking from crystal makes you happy
>you feel it as soon as the glass touches your lips
>making your mouth widen into a grin.
>Immediately you feel happy as the contents
>swirl around your mouth and your tongue
>cleaves to your palette.
>Spirits had teased you into submission
>long before it could flavour your tonsils.
>Your fingers had caressed the curves,
>each diamond cut that sparkles.
>You want this to last forever
>and your cup always to overfow.
>
>
>Sally James
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