Thank your or your considered input.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 05/14/2006 1:45:08 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Hello Ryfkah, I really like the message behind this poem it is very rich
in
description but feel it needs working on a little more. I find the first
line jars a little and maybe the words could be arranged diferantly like.
"The ebony coated jaguar emerald eyed.... "
I also feel there has been a word left out before "altered states" and in
the last verse before the word "moments". I do understand the sentiments in
the poem very well. and it is very touching. Best wishes Sally J
>>
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